Cured from Baby Brain

All the events of last night put me off the obsessive path of "Do I want a baby soon?" the answer is again firmly back to "No."

Hubby tried to go to bed early last night at 9 and wanted to take Nitro with him. They were not gone 5 minutes before M. was yelling at nitro to get out of the bedroom. I'm thinking he ate something fast but oh no no no. Nitro had peed all over the bed and blankets, amazingly missed the pillows. It was our last set of clean good sheets and we only have one down comforter (which i'm hoping we can save tonight at the laundry mat). So, we had to strip the living room chairs of their sheet covers for bed covering and amazingly our 1 big blanket was big enough.

By 9:30 M.'s in bed, dogs are in crates, i'm in the living room trying to get my blood pressure down then Z gives us 5 minutes of barking followed by 5 minutes of silence. Over the last 3 weeks or so she's become increasingly inconsolable when put in the crate. Even with a Kong toy filled with treats and peanut butter she'd rather bark. I have just typed and erased about 2 paragraphs worth of dog rant material but this post isn't that story so i'll spare you. I gave up and went to bed at 10 (Z thankfully stopped shortly there after).

10:30, M.'s phone goes off and by some amazement he's asleep (insomnia issues) but i wasn't and chose to ignore it thinking if it was real important they'd call again. They called again. Turned out it was M.I.L. checking in because she'd just arrived back from Italy and after quizzing her boys they'd reported not hearing from us after our arrival back from TX. I wasn't sure if she was calling to tell us they were safe or if she was checking to make sure we were safe. She lets me go after she realizes she woke us.

THEN the up stairs baby starts to cry and cry and scream and then choke on his crying and then cry some more. This went on for about 30 minutes and i had to explain to hubby that sometimes babies have to cry them selves to sleep. I also thought it was good retribution from the upstairs neighbors for us having a dog that barks any time she's put in her crate.

So after all that i got to sleep around 11 and after all that i'm really not ready for a kid.

i realize that to some getting to bed at 11 is reasonable but we get up at 5:30 and i function best on 7-8 hours of sleep. Sleep is another thing that would change if i had a kid... yeah, no kids.

Babies on the Brain

The topic of babies seems to be in every conversation* i have. I guess it's natural considering my husband and i have been married almost 3 years and we're both on the downhill side to 30.

I realize that we're not in a place to have a baby. If tomorrow i found out i was pregnant my first reaction would be dread followed by a nap induced from the overwhelm of emotions. But still my mind can't seem to let it rest.

Should we have one let alone three?
Should we not go down that road at all?
What about all the responsibility?
What about all the things that change?
How much more will i love my children if i know the love i have for my niece?

My brain can get pretty obsessive about something once it's latched on to a topic and can't come to a firm conclusion. If the options are pretty endless then it will loop around and around thinking of all the different possibilities. As it has now seems to be doing with this topic.

I keep telling my self that we have nothing to decide for another couple of years. That if we're having them then being pregnant with the first at 28 is completely acceptable.

Do you hear that brain? You can let it go for now!

*friends, family & co-workers have had this conversation with me this past month.

bargains!

I got all this for $150 dollars today - thankfully thanksgiving sales are all weekend:

- 2 bras {buy 1 get 1 free, that's awesome}
- 2 shirts {one is that popular kelly green, never owned something in this color before!}
- 2 pairs of shoes {casual nice brown, drk purple slip ons}
- 1 pair of jeans {i can only seem to find jeans that fit at Lane Bryant}
- 1 sweat shirt {zip up, bright teal, love it!}
- scarf & hat set {light pink and super soft}

***
This evening i worked on my sister's birth announcements. Hand writing the addresses, it's going well. Recent pictures were taken of Noel in a white dress and bonnet, super adorable, each one gets a 4x6. Tomorrow is the big day to start printing the announcements. My printer supposedly* prints 4x6 prints just fine and the paper is only a little bigger at 4.5x6.25 - i'm hoping it takes it ok.

*i've never actually tried it.

Niece Update - 7 weeks

Look at her belly!


I purchased these for her - my sister did register for them, couldn't turn down the chance to buy wanted clothing!


Her daddy slipped in at nap time to arrange pooh & friends.



She's so precious! The nursery is pink, white and classic pooh.

From Texas with Love

Made it in at about 10am Sunday from Texas and a week long visit with family. My baby niece is amazing! I didn't take nearly as many pictures as i should have. At 3 weeks she is very squirmy when awake and usually swaddled when asleep so those little feet didn't get into many shots.

This trip was very emotional for me. I usually have one good cry on the last day about having to go back. However, this trip it started with crying when i first met Noel and then during the whole week I couldn't think to hard about leaving again with out tearing up. It's hard to think that i'll be the long distance aunt, even though i have a better relationship with my aunts now that i'm miles away then i did when i lived 30 minutes... but it's more the fact that i won't get to raise my kids along side my siblings and their children like i was. Thankfully, my siblings like to travel!

I should mention that my husband has been bitten by the baby bug, LOL! He said he's not ready right this second but in a couple of years. That's an improvement considering we were saying maybe in four. I'm glad he still wants to wait - i'm not ready at all!

What was really nice about this trip was reconnecting with childhood friends. I got to meet up with one at her home and her 2 adorable children (her son sings quite nicely at 3 yrs old). I went to the bridal shower of another and visited with her family who i had not seen in years! At the shower i was surprised to see a mutual childhood friend and we talked a lot about life and being married. It's great to reconnect!

The pictures are still in my camera. I haven't had much interest in sitting at the computer when i get home from work this week. I'll get them out soon, promise.

Monday - slow build up from bad to good

Monday started out badly, really it all started Sunday night when my husband ended up having to work an hour later than normal which caused me to fall asleep and miss saying good night.

Was enjoying my breakfast at home {go me} when my phone went off at 7:15am. It was my company's printers - not completely unexpected because i did have a press check today. Oops turns out it was at 7am and they forgot to tell me! I told them sorry but i can't get there any faster then an hour {had to wrap up my lunch & it takes me 45min to get there - bonus go me for packing lunch}. The whole way there i was annoyed even though i was rockin' out to OK GO i kept playing out defensive arguments i would have with the press men and then my boss. Turns out everyone was cool/didn't care.

Walked in the door at work and was informed that the Xerox tech would be in this afternoon. Ok, what's wrong? The paper catch tray broke off! Apparent the machine really can malfunction and not tell it self that the catch tray is full until it's too late and the weight of the paper makes it snap off. Now, i could make some snide remark about why didn't the guys on shift notice that the paper was full and move it off? I could but then some day it will probably happen to me and i wouldn't want to be called a moron when it's really the machines fault.

Turning point - my sister sent me pictures of Noel sleeping - awww her little mouth was slightly open. One can not stay in a bad mood with baby pictures of their niece. Way excited that i leave on Saturday to go see her!

This afternoon i was feeling a little weird - i think it was having too much cheese with lunch but i digress... and wishing i didn't have a gym training session right after work. What happens an hour later? I get a phone call from my trainer saying he needs to reschedule! Excellent - so now i can go home and feel weird which is so much better then trying to do leg lifts on a bad stomach.

I think i might rewatch Mad Money tonight. I know, you wouldn't think it was a good movie but it's funny and clever. Plus the song that plays on the main menu and i think the credits is very catchy.

Arrival {update: pics}

Noel Elise has arrived!!

Born at 4:04pm Central Time - 6 lb. 9 oz. and 20 inches long with dark hair.

Do a little happy dance! I know I've done a few of them. I don't have pictures yet, they won't be home from the birthing center until about midnight. I won't expect any until tomorrow afternoon or evening. Oooh the agony of waiting!

Everyone is doing great! My sister told my dad who told me that everything went amazingly easy for the first birth. There were no complications and quick birth.

I'm sooo happy!!!!

Newborn Noel - laying on the bed at the birthing center taken by her dad.

Noel at 25 hours being held by her great grandmother.

*sigh* my heart is melting...

!!!!!!!

My sister has gone into labor!!!!

I got a phone call from my step-mom at 10:56am and i missed it! I couldn't believe it, i was sitting right next to it and didn't hear it in my purse. Anyway, got her voice mail and called back for her to tell me everything again. My sister's water broke this morning and at 11 she was at 4cm. So, my niece will probably be here by this evening and then everyone back home tomorrow morning. Which means easily about 24hrs of waiting before i get a picture!!

I have called my husband, texted my brother, called my step-sister, IMed with my mom, IMed with a cousin-in-law, told a friend, told my female co-workers who all squealed with me... I think the adrenalin has finally wained enough for me to go get lunch and maybe come back and work a little.

I'll keep ya'll posted!

Happy Happy Joy Joy

It is warm! sunny! on a Friday! I am having a hard hard time sitting in my office but thankful i have a window that looks out into the big office that has big windows that look out into the sky which is perfectly clear and blue today. My plans for lunch is Thai sitting outside on a picnic bench reading Ann of Green Gables {i know, it's a crime i've waited so long to read it but big fan of the movies}.

I had really ambitious plans last night and i completely gave them up for movies. I watched P.S. I Love You which was good, didn't make me cry and i laughed a little more than i expected. Then i watched Lars and the Real Girl really good story but it did make me teary. Here is the part i'm proud of, you know that new book i got, Doodle Stitches? Well, i actually pulled it out last night and used it! That's right, i practices stitches while watching my second movie. Months ago i had picked up these square swatches that are pre-cut for quilts or whatever. My original plan was to show M. "look these would make great curtains for our back door" - we went a different route that still isn't even up... anyway i digress... i took one of the pieces of fabric that has a large flower pattern and decided to follow the pattern to practice my stitches. It worked, it looks nice for my first try, I'll post proof as soon as I take a photo. Ta-da proof:




I'm also getting anxious about my sister delivering. Early this morning between my alarm going off and the snooze time i was dreaming that my dad had called to tell me my sister had gone into labor. When i woke fully and checked my phone, it wasn't true. Which really is good according to the calendar she has another week. The waiting is getting hard!

I hope the weather is amazing where you are!

Blows Your Mind

The miracle that is a woman growing another human - blows my mind!

The long weekend at my sister's was amazing. The best part was getting to touch my sister's belly and feel Baby move. I have felt her feet press out, i felt her little rump, i felt her have the hiccups. That's right, baby's have hiccups in the womb, crazy! For the hiccups i put my hand on the side and i could feel resistance and then suddenly a quick nothing and then back to resistance - it was rhythmic plus S. had felt baby have them before so she knew what she was talking about. It was WILD!!!

The baby shower was beautiful, my sister's best friends did a fabulous job from the invitations, to the decorations, to the food, to the favors - awesome!

I cried once i got in the car when i got home last night. I know part of it was being so tired (was up late every night) but also because it's going to be sooo hard only seeing my niece every six months or so. I know it will work out, i know it will but still makes me sad to be so far. At the same time I am so excited to be going back in a month! And it's 3 weeks until the birth so i really only have to wait 3 weeks for pictures.