Affairs - An Opinion

I don't normally don’t state my opinion about what celebrities are doing but Jon & Kate of (Jon & Kate Plus 8 fame) has brought up an intense subject, that was sparked from a Facebook Status and subsequent comments. The story goes that Jon had an affair and now the couple is wondering if they'll stay together. A majority of the people who commented thought that Kate caused the affair.

Let me state clearly i have watched about 3 episodes and do not like Kate for her over all personality that she projects on the show. Kate comes across as being the ultimate control freak. Controlling to the point that she treats her husband like another child who knows nothing.

However having a bitch for a wife DOES NOT justify the husband having an affair!

I hold Jon responsible for his actions. He could have grown a pair and sought out healthy ways to correct the unhappy marriage. Instead he chose to seek comfort from a source that lead him to the path of the affair. I'll give him reasonable doubt that he was not seeking an affair at first that the relationship evolved to that. Regardless thought, he ultimately chose to sleep with another woman, it did not accidently happen.

Now, i do hold Kate responsible for her part of making the marriage an unhappy one. She definitely contributive to the status of their marriage.

I just refuse to buy the stereo-type that if the husband strays it's the entire wife's fault.

Short Fuse

If you want to see me go from calm to raging in just 2 seconds, call me a derogatory wife title.

NEVER call me his mother, as in i have taken the place in my husband's life as the authority figure for approval of activities. This is not the same as being called like his mother, that's completely different and not really derogatory.

Talking over with a spouse about activities that will take up MONTHS of time is a legitimate conversation to have before making a commitment to said activity. It's not like he needs to clear it with me if he's going to the movies with the guys. In that case, i'd just like to know when he'll be gone so i can make plans to finally watch a girly movie at home.

The stereo type that the wife is out to ruin the husband's good time is infuriating because we're not.

P.S. my husband was not the offender that caused me to write this retort.

The blue represents what i would have added the first time around if i wasn't writing in such a huff.

Marriage Update

Considering marriage is the 3rd item mentioned in my subtitle it seems it would be appropriate to bring the topic up.

Over the last year it has been easier for me to build walls of supposed protection then to be vulnerable and communicative towards my husband. Yes, that is a sad way to function in a marriage or any relationship.

To make a long story short things have been changing over the last week or so.

Biggest change: he became saved {born again Christian} on Friday the 6th. Which ironically is the 5th anniversary of our first date. Hallelujah and praise the Lord this is great news! But, this is also confusing news to me because he was a proclaimed believer since the day we met. However, I believe his choice on the 6th was sincere because of some of the changes i've seen. Most notably, he prays where as before i only saw him pray over a meal. His patience with me has suddenly become remarkable high. I actually pull an antic that could have easily bated him into a fight and he didn't rise to it which basically left me no choice but to apologize for snapping at him. Slice of humble pie anyone?

Another odd occurrence in our household, is that he's reading. A non-fiction, self help book none the less. Plus the Bible. Last night was the first time EVER we sat in the living room and read on the couch together. The other night he asked if he could join me in bed to read before sleeping, also NEVER happened before. Both of these things I have previously wished we do together and it was great.

Equally as odd, he cleaned the kitchen. While he did this on occasion and when it got really on his nerves, this time it was more a random act of kindness.

I am watching all of this with a cautious heart. I'm a mix of "it's about freakin' time" and "who are you?!". I'm being sure to at least say thank you to a kind gesture because i may not fully trust his motives but at the same time i don't want them to stop simply because i was ungrateful.

I'll let you know if anything else new happens like he picks up his clothes out of the bathroom.

Therapy After Therapy

Saturday afternoon i had my first appointment with a counselor. I'm at a point now where I don't think i can pull my self up by my own boot straps and a little outside help would be good. This is not my first experience with a therapist. I had 2 between the ages of 18 & 20. I had 2 session with a woman in July, did not work out because of insurance and i could not afford her out of pocket or out-of-network or really, i don't think we were a good match.

Unfortunately I don't think i'm a good match with the woman i met on Saturday either. When i have to call both of my sisters to rant about how she got on her soap box about a particular issue which was a side subject and not the main reason i was there. That i'm actually angry, feel belittled, and not just a touch manipulated by the counselor instead of feeling encouraged that this is a woman who can help me through a struggle. I don't think this a good sign. Still, I dread canceling our second appointment scheduled for this coming Saturday. Both my sisters immediately said not to go back and that i don't have to have any since of commitment to her. And i keep reminding my self that giving people a second chance after they've pissed me off once is how i'm in the situation i'm now in.

At the same time, i'm discouraged, it's a lot of freakin' paper work to meet with someone and then in the first hour boil down the problem to 10 min. of an explanation and be able to articulate exactly why i'm there when the only really good answer is that i can't sit on the couch numbing my feelings with ice cream forever.

Another thing on my mind is that I HAVE TO figure out something to do after a counseling session. Usually, i'm tired, sad and a little weepy after that hour. My default is to of course go get a good girly movie and some chocolate and then waste the rest of my evening. I just don't see how the wallowing can be constructive anymore. I'll need to find something nice for my self to do to transition between the session and life.

Magical Apartment

The thought of moving to this amazing apartment but highly expensive apartment has been heavy in my mind lately. The fairy thoughts that some how by moving in to this apartment I will become a better person, suddenly our marriage will be better, our lives in general excellent.

A few of the day dreams:
- The apartment will stay clean. By somehow having a small bedroom would make us want to hang up our clothes every time we change them. The fact that the kitchen would have less counter space i'd do the dishes more often.

- In this clean apartment i would have the stamina to get up early every morning {before my husband} and do my 30 minutes of pilates in our new cozy den. Followed by 30 minutes of cardio in the gym on the property.

- We'd be better with money because we'd have to be to make the rent. We would have to pay attention to our spending because if we didn't we'd find our selves with over drafts and no electricity {then how could i do pilates?}.

Reality check - moving will make NONE of those things happen. The only thing that will change that is our attitudes about responsibilities and discipline to follow through on things that are not fun. Boo, it will not be handed to me magically.

Considering all of that I'm plotting on how those three things, which are the top three bane of my existence, can happen right where we're currently living.

***
Why does my husband think it's fun to call me and tell me I have a flat tire after we just spent $350 to fix other problems on his car. Thankfully he was at a gas station and able to fill it with air oh but didn't want to be bothered with using his tire gauge to check it's the right pressure. He always tells me these types of stories like they're supposed to be funny little things about life. They're not funny, it causes me a little bit of anxiety at the fact that a) there is probably a hole in the tire and b) that he might have over inflated which if there isn't a whole and it was just low from sitting around for 3 weeks, that he could have a blow out.

Lord just get him home safely and we'll take my car to the movies for the date. We'll ignore the fact that my car needs some minor repairs too.

Apartment Living

We're looking to move in a couple of months. Some of the apartment managers thing we're looking a little early considering we can't move in until April 1st. However, we see it as a way figure out now where we want to move and not panic at the last minute and just pick something that might not work.

We're currently looking at our options for places downtown. The first building we looked at was too small, 750 sq ft. i just can't image us and the dogs living in that size of space. We went today to a building along the south water front on the edge of downtown, it's beautiful! It makes you feel sophisticated just walking in. I'm completely sold on the building. Of course i'm curious to find out about their other building opening in April that's in the heart of downtown.

Never thought i'd live downtown. I was pretty sure my husband would never agree to it because he originally said he wouldn't want to. Fast forward a few years and add in a new job that's down there... well, he now loves it and it was his idea to move there.

I'm questioning if we can afford it and this weekend i'm starting plans to figure that out. As i've previously stated money stresses me out so i'm taking it a little bit slow with going through the bills and not freaking out, it is what it is. My husband is all "I think we can do this" - of course he does, Mr. Optimistic-But-Has-No-Plan. So, what i'm trying to say is, i'm willing to take responsibility to figure out how to make this boat float downtown because i think it would be exciting to live down there. Of course if we can't eat, a pretty place to live means squat....

Keep ya'll updated as i figure things out.

Hi

I'm back.

I do not recommend taking a late flight to arrive home at 10pm and then go to the ER for your husband which doesn't allow you to get to bed till 2:30am but really feels like 4:30am because of the jet lag. I'm tired and it's Monday and the day is moving SLOW! My hubs is ok, some inflammation on his colon will keep him bed/couch bound for the next 2 days while he takes high doses of ibprofen and vicodin for the pain. I plan to join him as soon as I can leave work {thankfully, i think i can do this relatively on time even though i wasn't in until 11, i just need a little more sleep}. I think the oddest thing I collect is my husband's ER wrist bands. We go normally once a year for something major {cut, dog bite...}, we've been 3 times so far in '08. I keep meaning to make a little book or box with stories attached. It's not even that they're great stories it just seems like something to document. It's ok you can say it, that's odd.

Sometime in the past 10 days Portland flipped completely over to fall. It's beautiful despite the rain and the cool wind. There is a huge tree outside our apartment that looks like it's on fire with all the reds and oranges of it's leaves. I took video and pictures of it today with plans to show you later.

A few quick good bits:

- My niece is adorable!!!!! She smiles, laughs, reaches for people, keeps eye contact, gets happy when her parents walk in the room and makes raspberries at random. I love her so much more than i thought i ever would. She also makes it 10x as hard to leave Dallas - she changes so fast!

- Antiquing with my sister.in.law was a complete successes. She actually noticed an Argus 40 sitting high on a shelf {i got it for $20, this was not the steal i was hoping for but worth it for actually seeing in person the great looking lenses}. The other great find was wooden block print letters. This jumble of numbers and letters produced enough for my last name, wedding date, and JOY which i plan on using for my Christmas cards.

More to come...

Newsflash -

marriage is hard.

Success

This morning was the first successful carpooling trip for my husband and I. Sure, we've only done one leg of the trip but it was smooth. We even took the highways all the way into downtown with out traffic, how odd is that? It was about 7:20 by the time we hit the main freeway that is usually slow so it's not like it was super early. I'll stop commenting on it so maybe it will happen again tomorrow.

M. started his new job downtown and it's going to work out great. The hard part is getting into a morning routine. We both at 6:15 were grumbling about getting up. For me it was mostly the fact that it's not even September and it's already gray out at 6:15am - what happened to the sun? I'm not ready for shorter days yet. Don't miss the heat but i need my sun. I'm considering buying one of these lamps that simulates a sunrise and can play mp3 music to wake up to.

The trip was also really nice because we got to do a little talking and a little hand holding and it felt like a bit of the good life before walking into an office all day. I was afraid that i'd miss my alone commute to rock out to what i wanted and i probably will but not this morning. Plus i still got 15min by my self after i dropped him off.

Here's to good changes!

Schedules

Found out Friday that my husband's work schedule is going to change in June. June marks the end of school for the summer. It also marks the leaving of 2 employees and 2 prego ladies. He'll be working swing shift - 2pm till 10pm tues - sat. I am not pleased. There is not anything that can be done to change it until school starts again in the fall. Basically this means he'll be getting home when i'm going to sleep. Unless i throw off my sleep schedule, which i'm not completely rejecting the idea of adjusting it a night or two, we won't really see each other tues - fri.

The only silver lining is he'll be available to go on Saturday mornings art adventures. I have a group of friends that do summer field trips on Saturday for artsy stuff. We'll be going to lots of gardens this summer for photography, painting, drawing and the like.

On happier news I went to The Dancer exhibit at the Portland Art Museum. They are show casing works by Degas, Forian, and Toulouse-Lautrec. It really made me want to buy color paper and pastels for sketching. They showed a number of sketches by all the artiest - i have to say i liked this best. While the paintings were great and to see a real poster from the time of Toulouse-Lautrec was great - there is something about seeing how they worked quickly in a sketch, or how with ink and water color wash they gave such strong impressions of placement. I almost wouldn't mind going back before the show closes on May 11th but i doubt i'll get there.

I went with 4 other people and I liked it when we were all going at about the same pace. We could wander from one piece to the next and bump into each other to give a though. But when one of the guys and i started talking about art and longevity and making a living out of it half way through the exhibit - the other people moved on and finished up before we did. I have to say i felt a pressure to hurry along on the second half of the exhibit because they were waiting. So, i'm not really sure museums are the best for group socializing. Or maybe we are all to socially polite and we should have said our goodbyes so the faster group wouldn't feel they had to stick around.

***
Oh, yeah!! I have to share the new books i got:

Wreck This Journal by Keri Smith

Figured out pretty fast that I'm afraid to get this book wet. Now, I like the idea of dribbling my coffee on a page but to take it into the shower?! The pages will get all warped! So we'll see if i get over the fear of that. I've already added a piece of lent to one of the pages, it's from the drier the towels were in, it's this cool teal color - don't worry that's the color of our towels. Those that love texture will also love that the tape on the front of the books is embossed and glossy *drool*. I'm pretty excited about toting this thing around and beating it up, as long as it doesn't get too wet, lol.

Doodle Stitching: Fun and Fresh Embroidery for Beginners by Aimee Ray

That's right i'm going to learn how to embroider! I use to cross stitch when i was younger, so i at least know that one. The book has great pictures and clear instructions, now if only i'd start. I have an idea to incorporate embroidery into my art. I'm very excited that she also includes directions on how to incorporate beading. It'll be exciting to see what happens.

A cool thing is you can buy more patterns from Aimee's Etsy shop "Little Dears" as pdfs.

Tuesday Night Thoughts

I just finished watching Juno for the first time. It's a great movie. The writing is excellent, the actors perfect - I even cried at the end. It is a movie more apt to interest female viewers because the main topic is pregnancy and the awkwardness that is teen pregnancy but it's also about family and relationships. It's just very very good.

***
Today is earth day, whoo-flippin'-do. The big thing in the media (radio, tv news) is what're you doing to be greener? Green, hybrid, recycle, reuse, renew, biodegradable, global warming, one thing, renewable resources, mother earth, save the planet... Alright, yes, we should not trash the planet we have but do i believe that it's absolutely has horrible as the media makes you think? Not quiet.

Here is the thing, as an example of the "one thing you can do" is take your coffee cup to work and or local coffee shop to save on using paper cups that can't biodegrade (or at least not quickly). What is the problem with paper not degrading? Eventually we're going to run out of room. But how can we affect one area w/o affecting another? Because that coffee cup that i'm toting around has to be washed which requires electric energy and hot water and soap. So, by keeping a paper cup out of the waist i have now burned energy that is linked back to a power plant that is probably emitting something bad. I've used water which again linked back to a power cleaning plant which i'm sure is emitting something bad. So, is the carbon foot print more or less by me using a normal mug? Which may or may not be made of plastic or metal which is a whole other thing about what kind of carbon foot print happened while making this reusable cup.

Here is the other twist of irony, i'm required by law to pick up my dog's poo and dump it in a plastic bag (the plastic bag is not specified in law as far as i know but that is what's available to me). Why, when plastic is not biodegradable should i put something that is completely biodegradable in it?

***
I'm tired of pretending that everything is ok in my life. Marriage is extremely hard! My husband and I last night came to the conclusion that we both feel a pressure to do everything in the marriage. Yet oddly enough nothing gets done (like budgeting or real grocery shopping) because i think we're waiting on the other person to do it. I know i've been waiting to see some initiative. After I made the statement about the pressure and he agreed - we didn't say a word. Probably 3-5 min. later i told him I didn't know what to say and he agreed to that. Another 3 min. and he leaves the bedroom to go finish a movie he had started prior. I put in a call about 2 weeks ago to a counselor on my insurance list about making the first appointment, i haven't heard back. I'm thinking i'll need to call someone else.

It was probably about a year before i got married I was having a conversation with my step-mom and it lead to her commenting that people in a relationship can feel lonely. I told her that didn't make sense to me, how could people being part of something be lonely? Sadly, i totally get it now.

Dd

The fourth letter of the Latin alphabet.

Words Related to D:
Deliberate - Done with or marked by full consciousness of the nature and effects; intentional
Diligent:

1.	constant in effort to accomplish something; attentive and persistent in doing anything: a diligent student.

2.	done or pursued with persevering attention; painstaking: a diligent search of the files.

Topics Related to D:
Death - The grieving processes is an odd one. Trying to remember that I do not have to absorb M.'s moods, that i can be calm and understanding. I'm having a bit of a hard time as well. It is more dealing with the realization that my grandparents wont be around for forever either. I really miss my family.

Dogs - Nitro was so bad yesterday, he kept going in the house! I don't think he's over his bladder infection even if he did finish his medication. He and Z kept getting into it as well. It's so annoying to try to break up their dog fights. I'm not really afraid of them anymore but still don't want to get bit. Not really sure what causes them to go off on each other either.

Dance - this will get its own post.

Pictures Related to D:

A rare moment to catch both of them asleep together.




Peek-a-boo I see your Skittle's


Time for bed

Random Bits of Fluff

My husband has unexpectedly left town for the weekend for a work conference. He left at like 5am to drive 4 hours with other co-workers to the location. So, here i am left with a completely empty weekend. Bring on the insomnia and girly movies. The insomnia is only vaguely new. When M.'s not home to go to bed with me at the same time i feel a touch lost about what time i should go to bed. Also, tonight, i feel wide awake at 10pm.

***
Random experience at the video store. There were 3 guys loudly perusing the outer rim of the store containing all the new releases against the back walls. I ended up having to step out of there way as they made an about face to go the opposite direction we were all originally going in. One of the three said "excuse me", i imagine his role in the group was the public apologizer for the other two's behaviors. I find the movies i want "Death at a Funeral" and "Much About Love" (think that's the title).

Standing in line, the three guys come up right behind me. The Extra Loud Guy makes a comment about how the big tub of pop corn has had the same illustration on it for years. Their conversation digresses about large woman and how eating popcorn will get them that way. I tried to block it out and kept making small steps closer to the counter. Extra Loud Guy keeps inching up along with me. In my head i say "i'm moving up, you stay where you are". My turn at the counter. Instead of the group staying a few steps back waiting for either cashier to open up the group clusters behind me, if Extra Loud Guy was a step closer i would have thought he was checking out with me.

Extra Loud Guy said something but i don't remember what. Polite Guy says "You'll have to ignore him", i find this interesting because I had not turned my head to even give them the idea i was paying attention. I turn over my right shoulder and look at E.L.G and say "um, yeah." The Second Guy "She already was". I turn again and say "Yeah, if he was step closer I'd let him know you'd invaded my personal bubble." I made a sweeping arm gesture to imply a barrier. I then realize that the cashier has been very quiet and that I've been rude to ignore the check out processes. Turns out cashier wasn't even paying attention and he still had to check in my rented videos so i don't feel so bad. E.L.G.'s response was saying to his friends "I had a bubble once until I got married" and then something about how before that he had an inverted bubble, what does that even mean?

Whats even crazier is that something that took 5 min. to happen took 3 paragraphs to explain. General comment about the whole thing, people are very talkative in video stores. In a city that in my experience the people do not strike up conversations with strangers it is very easy to do so in a video store.

***
I find our mail man annoying. We constantly get mail that goes to the street next to us. We have address 123 4th st. and we get mail for 123 hill st. - come on! it might be the same numbers but look at the street name! We live in an apartment complex so i don't expect the different sr. names to mean much. BUT the most annoying above all else is how he crams mail into our tiny little box. I ordered 2 issues of Artful Blogging^ and i find the envelope folded in half and crammed in there. At first I didn't think i'd get it out. There was a piece of cardboard in there to prevent bending, ha, lot o' good that did. Amazingly enough the magazines are just fine. Even if i did have to rip the envelope as i pulled it out.

^I do see a bit of irony about buying a paper publication about blogging which is digital. Strictly speaking they could offer the exact same content as a purchasable pdf. Although, there is something nice about full color photos on glossy paper.

Weekend Recap

Friday:
Light load at work and then at 2p had a half hour chair massage as a "job well done" treat. The massage was nice, my shoulders are still a little tinder as she said they would be.

My original plan was to leave from work to go to a friend's who is about 30/45 min. from work and stay the night. Saturday being an artsy day together. Small catch. The auto repair place called me Fri. morning announcing my car was ready for pick up*. This caused me to have to head back home 30/45 min drive from work to drop off the rental. I chose to stay in my area of town for Fri night and drive out to her place on Sat. which is about an hour from my home.

*Yea! My car is repaired from my minor car accident back on 10.31.07. Why did it take so long you might ask... the car insurance didn't get back to me until it was 2 weeks before Christmas, i was crazy busy and leaving town, no time. January same story except the relatives where coming into town. Then February arrived and i had some time to deal with it. My car looks almost bran new. Now, someday, i might have the money to care enough to fix the dent on the passenger, driver side, door but not now.

Friday Night:
My husband’s plans also fell through. We decided to go to the movies as a moment to escape with each other. Had not been to the movies sense Jan. it was fun. Saw The Spiderwick Chronicles, enjoyed it.

We leave the theater and M gets a text message from his mom. We drive from the theater to M's parent's house. More bad news. M's youngest brother has a suspicious spot/lump/pump in his left shoulder. Youngest Bro had had pain in his left arm for about six months, had six dr. visits in that time, Fri. finally got an MRI and it showed the spot in his shoulders when previous x-rays had not. Needless to say my mother-in-law is beside herself. She even was saying she got hysterical at the hospital and wouldn't leave until they assigned a dr. for a biopsy this week. Being a Friday they have to wait till today to actually make an appointment for it. Everyone is trying to stay calm and keep the thought that this is all how it started with Ernie only a two weeks ago.

Thank you to everyone for your comments regarding prayer for my family, muchly appreciated!

Saturday:
Drive out friend's house for a day of fellowship and block printing. I got to play instructor on how to make a block print. Until yesterday never realized how many steps are involved in the process. She lives in the country and we got to take a walk along the dirt roads in the sun shine. It was a wonderful time!

Sunday:
Nothing actually happened. I read a little more of The Artist Way and did a few exercises. I helped M with his school photography project. By mid afternoon i had a weird listlessness going on. I couldn't figure out what to do to make it go away. I played more Guitar Hero 3, I'm stuck on the last set of songs on Hard and can't get past the 3rd set on Expert. Apparently I can't strum fast enough for the notes, ah well. Playing online against others are fun. Then I watched Martian Child with John Cusak, it was a good story.


How was your weekend?

Kitchen Rant

Whenever I clean the kitchen after its been neglected for days a rant builds up inside me. It should be understood that neither my husband nor I like cleaning the kitchen, it’s at the top of our least liked chores. However, my threshold for what is tolerable is shorter than his and mine is pretty long. I once conducted a personal observation to see how long it would take for him to break and clean the kitchen. At three weeks* with no practical dishes left in the cupboards and a weird smell, I broke.

*get married with a lot of dishes and 2 people can go a long time with out washing them.

I say that to say this: If he doesn’t do it for his mother he won’t do it for you.

When we were dating he was till living at home. I would go over and hang out and be there for dinner. I always felt a little guilty when we’d be upstairs playing pool or whatever and his mom was down stairs cooking. I’d ask if we needed to go down and help and he always said no. Every now and then I’d go down and offer anyway and sometimes she’d find me something to do and sometimes she’d decline my help. Four years later I’m still trying to figure out the balance of help and being in the way. Now that we’re married, he doesn’t help cook. He will cook on occasion though.

After dinner I’d say 90% of the time his mom did the dishes with usually one of the boys (my hubs is the oldest of five boys) unloading and then loading the dishes when she handed them off. I got into the routine of putting away the leftovers. Hubs would be nowhere to be found. Now that we’re married, he doesn’t do the dishes, even when he cooks.

I know I should have the mind set that I am cleaning this house not just for him but for me. So I can function appropriately and healthy inside this house that is supposed to be a haven. Although, honestly, this past year I’d say it’s been more of a burden then a haven. It is difficult to strike a balance between two people that work full time with a lot of extra activities and add the fact that cleaning does not come naturally to them.

I could ramble in several different directions from here. I’ll do a summery and wrap up in bullet points to keep it short.
- Cleaning the kitchen makes me feel resentful
- Resentful makes me feel guilt
- There are things you should pay attention to when dating, if you don’t like it when you’re dating you’re going to hate it when you’re married.
- I should talk to him
- Doubtful things will change
- How can I change my self?
- Realize this is for me just as much as for him
- Establish a routine – I liked that week when I actually did the dishes daily, it was manageable.

Barely Remembered

Almost went to bed with out posting! I've been working on that logo I previously mentioned. It's taking on a style I don't think the guy was originally thinking.

However, I am learning some limitations on my abilities. For example I can understand in my head what he wants to see but trying to translate that into the computer is becoming more difficult and time consuming than originally thought. Also my personal taste (style?) is creeping in. I'm a little bit of a minimalist and prefer simple design. I don't know if this is because i don't have the talent/skills/patience for details or if this really the way I work no matter what.

I'm done for tonight and tomorrow night I shall find out his opinion.

On an unrelated note - I must invest in good headphones - maybe those big kind that completely cover the ears. The whole time as background noise I've listened to my husband comment: "good kill" "Oh son of a...!" "Don't go in there!" "get the active camo" and then there is the explosions and various different gun sounds depending on which weapon is being fired. Yeah, if my office isn't going to have any doors, I need good headphones.